I tend to be someone who finds a song that can pretty much describe my mood/feelings so this post will be done in songs to describe what this year has meant/done for me.
I had an instant love with this city. They were truly giving me good vibrations. I loved everything about it. Frank says it best in this song (cliche I know). But really. I loved it. The people, the sites, I really was super green. NYC could do no wrong.
And then reality set in. I moved to a place that is the total opposite of what I had known. I moved to a place where I didn't speak one of the dominant languages, working in an urban ER, going to a church that did things differently than I was used to. The shock was settling in. What had I gotten myself in to?? Bastille uses amazing drums and gregorian chant-type BGVs in this song to pretty much describes how I had to make it through some days.
But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like
You've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
-Bastille "Pompeii"
And then something happened. I let Jesus come in and help me call this place home. I don't remember the day or a specific moment but these people, this place? Its home. These perfectly imperfect people who I had come to know and love were now family. We celebrate eachother's differences and see the beauty in the things that unite us. The people at work have brought nothing but joy to my life. We have a comradery that knits us in to eachother's lives like not many other experiences can. My job brings a lot of exhaustion and stress but it is one of the most rewarding jobs I've ever had and my coworkers are some of the most interesting and amazing people I have met.
And my CCF fam? I can't even begin. No word for the way you have welcomed me in and made me feel at home. You are my best friends and brightest parts of my week. Thank you for loving Jesus faithfully and loving me well.
And my CCF fam? I can't even begin. No word for the way you have welcomed me in and made me feel at home. You are my best friends and brightest parts of my week. Thank you for loving Jesus faithfully and loving me well.
To my Tennessee and New York friends and family, you are home.
I will never be a stranger
I will never be alone
Cause deep inside of me I know that
Wherever you are is home
I will never be alone
Cause deep inside of me I know that
Wherever you are is home
-Dave Barnes "Home"
There is something beautiful about home and being known. More recently I have been reflecting on what it means to be known and to know God and others. Psalm 139 is one of those chapters that reminds me that I am known and loved.
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
and lay your hand upon me.
To be known like that is scary but beautiful! How comforting to know that I don't have to put on an act for God. I can be 100% myself. And the goal of community is to be that way as well. The people in TN know me. And thankfully, I can be that way with people here now. I could go on and on about how amazing knowing and being known is (and how beneficial it is for the kingdom) but that's another topic for another day. Just know that I love that I am known here!
Now on to the less serious stuff. The things I have learned/how I have changed.
1. Un Poquito Espanol
I am in no way a Spanish expert but I am slightly surprised at the vocabulary I have picked up. Especially medical spanish. And I really am trying to learn mas (more). Immersion truly is the best way to learn a language. And now the only song I know completely in Spanish- La Bamba
2. Snitches Get Stitches
This is hood lingo/lessons I have learned. Other words include "Salty" (mad about something), "Brick" (super cold outside), "bae" (significant other), "What you not gonna do is" (self explanatory), "Ratchet" (crazy person, esp a girl). These are a few terms that seem to have found their way in to my vocabulary for better or for worse. I won't post the whole song but obviously I have to represent my hood.
So tell me where you from? Uptown, baby, uptown, baby
3. Public Transportation
I sold my car right before moving here and now I can't remember what it was like to own one. Its nice not having to stress about parking spots and gas. But with that you are completely reliant on others to get you from Point A to Point B even if they take you to Points C, D, E, and F before getting there. Shoutout to the MTA though for getting me there most of the time.
4. Sleep
Something I don't get enough of or when I do, it's at the oddest hours. I work night shift now so you can almost guarantee sleep doesn't happen. I find myself going over to friends' houses to hang and falling asleep on their couches. I know this sounds weird but I feel like that's another way I have grown more comfortable around others. I trust them not to write silly things on my face while I'm sleeping (don't get any ideas). Oh John, thanks for writing this song about sleep.
Well, I am going to close this with my cliche New York song. One that embodies the great city I live in. I know this is all over the place but that seems to be my life recently. I love this place and am so thankful that God placed me here. I am also thankful for the supportive family and friends I have back in TN.
