"Alone, yet not alone! If it be to glorify my God, I will not grudge to spend many nights alone in such a tree, to feel again my Savior's spiritual presence, to enjoy His consoling fellowship. If thus thrown back upon your own soul, alone, all alone, in the midnight, in the bush, in the very embrace of death itself, have you a Friend that will not fail you then?"
This quote was written by John G. Paton, a missionary to today's Vanuatu in the South Pacific. He writes this when he was all alone after losing his wife and child and now surrounded by hostile natives as he hid in a tree. These words are absolutely breathtaking and make me envious of that close connection with God.
One of the biggest things I am worried about with this move is the feeling of loneliness the first little while when I don't have friends. I am a person that thrives on interactions with other people so this move is totally uncomfortable and scary for me. I know that this is what God wants for my life. He has provided exponentially for me and blessed me in innumerable ways through this whole transition time.
Yet the one thing I keep thinking about is how lonely I will be. I am SUPER blessed with fantastic parents who love the Lord and constantly seek after Him. They truly are my best friends. I have so many amazing friends that are true lights in my life, that encourage me and correct me and speak truth in to my life. I am so sad to think that I can't just call them up to meet for coffee or go on walk.
Yet I think this time will be amazing for my growth with God. I read the words of Paton and see that he has never felt more close to God than when he was completely alone. All the blessings in my life are amazing but when they are blocking my intimacy with Christ, they become idols. Once these luxuries are stripped away, I am praying that God will grow me in ways I could never have imagined!
There are so many examples of people meeting God when they are away from others. Moses on Mount Sinai, Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. I am not saying that God doesn't show up when we are with others (quite the contrary), but there is something so intimate about being completely alone with your Savior.
So while these next few weeks will be very difficult for me, I pray that God will use this time to let me know Him more. I pray that He will teach me to yearn for Him and then realize that loneliness is such a minor suffering compared to the glory that He will reveal.
I also want to challenge everyone who isn't in a transition period. God will reveal things to you if you take the time to learn them. Making time to be alone is a priority for growth. Whether it be taking an hour or so out of your week to just sit and be with Christ or taking a mini vacation from technology and the world, do it! I pray that you can say with boldness "If it be to glorify my God, I will not grudge to spend many nights alone
in such a tree, to feel again my Savior's spiritual presence, to enjoy
His consoling fellowship."
