Raising My Hands at a Rock Concert

"Do you feel like you are at church?"

"Girl, I've been been saved twice tonight"

I overheard the above exchange last night. At a rock concert. And to be honest, it did feel like Jesus was there, in the Beacon Theater, amongst thousands of people enjoying rock and roll. It was church.

Now before all of you stone me and never read this blog again, I hope that you will read along and follow me to the end. Last night as I was hearing one of my all-time favorite bands Needtobreathe, I looked around the crowd. I saw people lifting their hands, closing their eyes, dancing unabashedly, raising their voices higher and higher without a care as to who was watching. Simply put: I witnessed worship. And even I dare say worship we as Christians could take notes from. Now granted, I am sure some of these people were worshiping the band, the moment, the feeling (ie sin). But, I dare say that people were brought before the face of God in those moments.

As far as Needtobreathe goes, their music is saturated with truths of the Gospel but in subtle ways. They talk about real-life things from a Christian perspective without sometimes ever once mentioning God.  Some lyrics more overtly mention Christ

Give me your heart
Give me your song
Sing it with all your might
Come to the fountain and
You can be satisfied
There is a peace, there is a love
You can get lost inside
Come to the fountain and
Let me hear you testify

where some seem to give advice on how to live life

 Be the light in the cracks

Be the one that's mending the camel's back
Slow to anger and quick to laugh
Be more heart and less attack

Be the wheels not the track
Be the wanderer that's coming back
Leave the past right where it's at
Be more heart and less attack

Of course knowing that Needtobreathe is made up of Christians validates that these lyrics are written for God. When they take the stage every night, I pray that they are singing every night for an audience of one. And with that mentality, Matthew 18:20 rings out "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them." God shows up when Needtobreathe gives their all for him. I can feel and therefore worship freely at a rock concert knowing this.

But what about when the lyrics are messy? When they are coming from someone who isn't singing for that audience of one? The actual definition of worship is "the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity". For Christians, the deity is God. I think for me it comes down to sometimes I can't find the words in modern worship for how I feel about God. My relationship isn't a cookie-cutter, put-together little thing. Its messy. Its ugly. Its full of struggle. And when that struggle is overcome, the immense joy I feel often times is underrated when trying to fit it into a 3 verse, repeating-chorus-with-bridge layout. I remember reading this article by Relevant Magazine about Mumford and Sons which stated my sentiments much more eloquently. Sometimes its outside of "Christian" music that I find someone who has truly worshiped something and felt what I felt. Not that I am justifying their idolatry but sometimes people just get it and can express it so well. When I hear these descriptions, I worship. Not the person. Not the place from which they were written. But as an expression of reverence and adoration for God to God.

The questions asked at the very beginning of the post give me great hope and great grief about the Church. In the example of Needtobreathe, God was so overtly infused in their lyrics that there wasn't a soul in there that could question who they were singing for. And even those who didn't know Christ in a personal way had no choice but to raise their hands. Worship was the only response. You could just feel it. I can't describe it and I don't know if you can truly understand unless you've been in a similar situation. I think that when someone truly experiences being in the presence of God, you can't help but not care who's watching and just let go and worship. And for this to be ushered by a band who is not a "Christian" band, who has found great success in the secular world, playing in New York City to a sold-out crowd, that's saying a lot. For you artists out there, I think they are some men to emulate.

The great grief came as a I looked around and witnessed this type of worship and really had to think about the last time this had happened in the context of Christians overtly doing it for God. When was the last time you remember people in your church dancing, throwing their arms up, singing at the top of their lungs, crying, and offering literally all of themselves in a worship set at church? Why is this? It may be the music, it may be the environment but to be honest its probably not. Its probably you. Its probably you caring WAY too much about what the person next to you thinks and not enough about what God deserves. To sound cliche, God wants the best of us, not the rest of us. From the moment I bought the ticket to the concert, I was so excited. Since I had seen them before in concert, I knew how amazing their show was and knew I wouldn't be disappointed. I listened to their music on repeat as to be able to sing along, I took off work so I didn't have to have that in the back of my mind, I painted my nails, I wore my favorite "concert outfit". I prepared for this concert for months and it paid off. Do I do that for my Sunday mornings? Do I prepare and even look forward to that time? And not to say that worship has to happen only on Sunday morning with an 8 member band. It can happen in the privacy of your own kitchen with just you. The point is, do you treat your encounters with God with the reverence it deserves?

Worship can happen at unexpected times, in unexpected ways. I pray this post has at least made you more aware of the moments that may present themselves throughout your day. I also hope this post has encouraged you to approach your times of worship with reverence and expectation. You are not worshiping to impress your friends, to look cool, to fill some quota. You are worshiping to express adoration and reverence for your God. So do it unashamedly and with all you have.

Chocolate Chip Cookies and Jesus

A couple of days ago I had some friends over to my apartment. I love hosting people and I love cooking for them. Seriously, my favorite thing. I have a signature dessert which most people at my church know me for and its my chocolate chip cookies. Nothing special, just regular, from-scratch cookies with walnuts. I decided to stick with this classic food item for when they came over. So I poured my flour, cracked my eggs, softened my butter, etc. Side note: I have started to use pink salt instead of white because its supposedly healthier. The only problem is that pink salt tends to clump more in my experience. Or maybe its super humid in my apartment. Either way, when I went to pour out my ½ teaspoon of salt, I got WAY more than I bargained for. The perfectionist in me became extremely distraught. I immediately started shoveling out salt and flour. Some of the salt had landed on the butter so there was no removing that salt. I frantically pulled as much out as I could. While I got most of the excess out, I was still left with much more than the called-for ½ teaspoon. I mixed together the ingredients I had because I had no extras to start over. I tasted the batter and almost gagged. I frantically called my mom who instructed me to just keep adding flour and sugar. I did which helped a little but it still didn’t taste like my famous cookies. I am such a perfectionist in the kitchen that I didn’t even want to serve them but one of my guests had been over the day before and knew I was making them. No backing out now. I cooked them and prayed for a baking miracle. While they didn’t taste terrible, they certainly weren’t what they were supposed to be.

So why do I tell you about my cooking debacle? Because like it or not, we are those cookies.

When God created Adam and Eve, He made the perfect cookie. The world was exactly as it should be, living in harmony and community with Christ. In Genesis 1:31 it says that “God saw everything he had made, and behold, it was very good”. And then comes along the serpent who says that the salt that we have is good but what about just a little more salt. So we silly, sinful humans take more and thus sin enters the world, forever ruining that perfect cookie. What we had was perfect, yet we still were not satisfied with that. Thus a separation was created between us and God, our perfection now tainted.

Thankfully the story doesn’t end there. Jesus enters the picture and is the flour and sugar for the mess of a concoction we’ve made. He is the perfect cookie, the perfect ingredient. He completes a broken and destroyed cookie. He died in our place for our sin so that the unity and community that we once had with God are possible again.

Yet day in, day out we continually add salt to our mixture. We daily sin, forgetting the huge and undeserved sacrifice that was made for us on the cross. The “little” sins like lying or coveting. Or even the “big” sins like murder and sexual immorality. They all are adding salt to a mixture that has been made whole and new by God. (Side note: sin is sin. All sin is wrong in God’s eyes but there are different earthly punishments/repercussions for our sins. And thankfully Jesus died for all of them, the “little” and the “big” sins). And those sins that you think no one knows about? The ones that are deep down, secret sins? They are adding salt as well. They are destroying relationships. They are making what was meant to be perfect and tainting it. You may look like a warm, delicious chocolate chip cookie but no one is fooled when they take a bite and eat oatmeal raisin!

The good news? When we accept Christ into our hearts, our slates are wiped clean. We are clean, brand-new! 2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” All the salt from our past is sifted out and we are brand new ingredients, clean, unblemished. There is nothing you have done that can’t be removed and forgiven, if only you ask. The not-so-good news? We keep sinning. We keep adding salt even though we know that it taints our ingredients. We must strive for holiness but realize that only one human in history has ever fully achieved it. And that human died for us so that we could commune with the Creator of the world! Our continual waxing and waning of saltiness has proven one thing: we long for the day when we will be whole, complete, without blemish forever. I have had a taste of heaven and now I crave it. One day, thanks to the sacrifice on the cross, I can stand complete, face-to-face with my Savior and unashamedly worship Him with everything in me. I can’t wait! So while we “groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling,” (2 Corinthians 5:2), we must not waste this time here. We must strive for righteousness and let our lives be a continual act of worship to Christ.

Whether my friends were being gracious or were just ravenously hungry, all the cookies were gone by the time they all left. They weren’t my best work but I was thankful of the reminder that despite my “saltiness”, someone loves me and desires me to be the whole, unblemished version of myself.

Jimmy Fallon For President

Seriously, I love Jimmy Fallon. Like a lot. He is absolutely hilarious and is truly a force to be reckoned with. His humor and presence make everyone in the room light up and engage in what he is saying/doing. I have said this in the past and I stick with this statement now: Jimmy Fallon is my most favorite entertainer of all time. I want to be Jimmy Fallon.

  

(We get it Bree, you like Jimmy. But what does this have to do with Jesus?)

There are a ton of reasons why I love Jimmy but I’ll talk about 3 reasons why Jimmy has helped me in my walk with Christ. (Hang on, I know this sounds farfetched.)

1. Jimmy is driven. Fallon has worked tirelessly to get to where he is today, hosting the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. He dropped out of college, worked for years doing stand-up, put in lots of time and hours at SNL, was stuck in the Late Night spot for years to FINALLY end up where he is today. He works hard. When he wants something, he goes for it. In his early years, his ultimate goal was to be on SNL. He would put clauses in his contracts that stated he would be released from all contractual obligations if he ever made it on SNL. He auditioned twice to get on SNL. If you haven’t seen where I’m going, Jimmy knows what he wants and he does what needs to be done to get there.

I strive so hard to be like this in my walk with Christ. My goal should be bringing God the most glory. My goal should be making as many disciples as possible. But when the going gets tough, I often get going. I don’t make that my main focus. I am easily distracted (Hi, just call me Gomer). I don’t put enough want and desire in to what I should. When have I passionately pursued anything? When have I put in the clause “I will enjoy this but if God asks me to give it up or do something else, I will give it up and pursue what He wants”? Jimmy’s drive is something I need/desire in my walk: an all or nothing type of drive.

2. Jimmy is not defined by his failures. When I think about Jimmy Fallon, I don’t think about his movie Taxi. I don’t think about the flop that was Fever Pitch. I don’t recall his first failed audition for SNL. I think about Jimmy from Weekend Update. I think about Jimmy, the incredibly talented host of the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. I recall the hilarious songs he has recorded including my personal favorite “Ew!” Yes, Jimmy failed. But he grew. He learned from his mistakes and chose not to let them define him.

This is something we all could work on. We all have pasts. We all have moments where we were in complete opposition to God. God asked us to do something and through fear or just blatant disobedience, we failed to do it. But the cool thing? When we are saved, God sees Jesus in us! He took every failure, every mistake, every shortcoming and nailed it to the cross. When Jesus comes to live in our hearts, we have a costume change and are now a new person. We are not defined by what we did but what Jesus did on that cross. And our entire lives should reflect that fact.

3. Jimmy does community so well! Man, this dude is infectious! His personality is one that just makes you feel right at home. His humor is one that brings the funny out in everyone. His guests on his show often get to be the funny versions of themselves. They get to participate in games or karaoke or “Flip Lip”. He hangs out with people outside of the show. He learns personal facts about people and allows them to talk about things near and dear to their hearts. And let’s take a second to talk about the bromance between him and Justin Timberlake! They are the best friends we all strive to be/have. Jimmy loves people and does an excellent job of bringing out the best in people.

This should be us. While we have not all been blessed with the infectious humor of Jimmy Fallon, we have all been blessed with gifts. Gifts that were meant to be shared and expressed. Gifts that were meant to make us unique and gifts that were meant to encourage/inspire others. We are encouraged to invite others in to our lives. We are meant to enjoy other’s company all while bringing out the best in each other. We are meant to celebrate each other. We are meant to dwell together, to intertwine our lives together. Community is essential to our lives. Learning each other not only allows the other person to feel comfortable but allows you to grow.

As you can probably tell, I love me some Jimmy Fallon. The dude is my #1 celebrity dream BFF (followed closely by Ellen Degeneres). I strive to have his humor, his wit, and his infectious personality. I also strive to have the above listed qualities not for entertainment’s sake but the Gospel’s sake. Jesus is way better than Jimmy. He is so driven that he came to Earth with one goal and did everything His father required to fulfill that goal. He never failed. And He is the ultimate example of community. He loves well, lives intentionally, and brings others in with the ultimate goal of bringing them to His father.

We Are All Kanye West

So if you keep up with the entertainment world at all, you have heard about Kanye attempting to once again steal the award away from someone. At the Grammys last night, Beck won the Album of the Year award for his album "Morning Phase". Other people in this category included Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith, Pharrell, and Beyonce. Kanye West went up on stage in a joking manner while Beck was accepting his Grammy in a flashback of the 2009 MTV awards where he interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech. Later on last night, West defended himself by saying he was not upset with Beck but the Grammys in general and states that "even Beck thought that Beyonce should win".

So now that you are all caught up on the entertainment world drama, I want to touch on the real reason why Kanye did what he did, and how we all do the same thing, every single day. The frank and honest answer is this: Pride. To be honest, I have only heard Beck's music one other time in my life thanks to one of my music-saavy roommates. Beyonce on the other hand, she frequently peruses my day. She is talented. And I can totally see why she deserved to be nominated and even win. But what Kanye did was say that despite the 13,000 people who cast their votes on who should win a Grammy, Kanye's vote was more important than theirs. And I wonder if he thinks this because he thinks he is better somehow than those that voted. Now read this, I am not Kanye and I can't claim to know everything he thinks/his intentions; I am merely interpreting his actions. And my interpretations have lead me to one truth: I am Kanye.

No, I am not married to Kim Kardashian but I am so guilty of thinking I deserve things that are often not given to me. And even worse, I diminish the accomplishments of my friends in my prideful pouts. Truth is, I deserve death. I deserve it every day. Before I even get out of the bed in the morning, my thoughts have condemned me death. Thankfully, I have a Savior who died on a cross for me and took my condemnation on Himself so I can live. If He did nothing else for me ever, it would still have been enough and I would still not deserve it. So in my sinful nature, I often times think I "deserve" things from God. And when I don't get them, I get bitter towards God and my attitude often times rubs off on others. But what about when my friends receive the blessings I am yearning for? Forget about it. I try to diminish the excitement of the blessing ("I mean I guess that's a cool thing. Whatever.") or act like I never wanted it in the first place. What I don't do is celebrate with my friends. What I don't do is thank my Savior for giving the blessing to my friend. What I don't do is thank God for all the blessings He has given me.

As you can already tell, not only is it pride but also jealousy when blessings are bestowed on someone else. And boy does the bible have a lot to say about both.
Pride:

• Proverbs 16:5 Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished. 
• Proverbs 16: 18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
• Galatians 6: 3 For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

Jealousy:

• James 3:16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice
• Proverbs 14:30 A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot
• Proverbs 27:4 Wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy?

These are a few of many. Its a serious sin issue. But fret not. Jesus died for your jealousy and pride as well. He has given us so many verses about the hundreds of blessings that we have been given. Open your eyes and look around you. So many blessings. Take your next breath. Blessing. So many things to be thankful for that we must ask God to shift our perspective off what we don't have and on to the millions of things we do have. And as far as when our friends receive blessings we want? Encourage them! Remind them who gave them their blessings. Thank God with them. But never make them feel guilty. Remember 1 Thessalonians 5:11 which says "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing".

Lets kill the Kanye in us all and live in a spirit of thankfulness. I pray jealousy and pride are part of our past and not our future.

Disclaimer: I think Kanye is insanely talented and has been blessed with amazing talents and gifts. I mean, did you all see his Grammy performance? Sheer talent. And his wife is super pretty. And his baby is adorable.

New Year's Resolution: Less of You All...Kinda

As the New Year has dawned on us, many people strive to make changes or goals for the year. An air of change seems to be everywhere and in my life, its no different. And as the title of this blog post suggests, I want less of you all.

I want to put a disclaimer out there from the very beginning that I am writing this blog post not only for you but also for me. I am the worst about this and many of my friends can attest that I am the chief sinner in this area. But I hope that somehow my New Year's Resolution can make you stop and think for a few minutes.

When I went home for the holidays, my parents greeted me at the airport with a super sweet sign welcoming me home. I posted the picture to Instagram and Facebook almost immediately. I wasn't even with them 5 minutes before I was immediately on my phone to let everyone know what amazing parents I have (but seriously, I do!). The joke over the next few days became how many new likes I could get on that picture on both social media websites. Their picture got way more likes and comments than any picture I have ever posted. It became a constant checking of my phone to see who else had liked it.

Multiple times throughout my time at home I would be on social media to see what everyone had received for Christmas or who had gotten engaged. I found myself during moments of stillness getting on social media and just browsing. I noticed a common theme among others and myself:

we post the best versions of ourselves and expect people to say they "know" us by our social media posts.

Or as in many cases:

we post way too much about ourselves to people who claim to "know" us.

Let me once again reiterate that this isn't a personal attack on anyone but just a mere observation of myself and my social media experience. If you asked anyone who follows me on social media, they will tell you that I am some who loves my family and friends, often times does silly things to get a laugh, loves taking "usies", and someone who loves Jesus. While these things are true, what you don't see is the struggle I have sometimes to get up and read my bible. You don't see the insecurities I have about myself and the way I am seen by others. You don't see the 16 other pictures we took before I posted the one pic because I was too insecure to post them. You don't see the times I am extremely homesick. You don't see my Netflix queue and the hours I spend by myself not hanging out with people.

This is not meant to make you feel sorry for me but to make you see that social media doesn't display all of me. Not to say that we should be posting everything in our lives but it should be taken in to consideration that we are not completely known or defined by our facebook profile.

Which leads to the second observation: sometimes we post WAY too much about ourselves. Believe me, I LOVE looking at that cupcake you got from Georgetown Cupcakes. I get super jealous and then I know who to call next time I get a craving to head downtown and grab one. But I don't want to see what you eat every single day for every meal. I don't want to see your daily gym outfit/sweat production. I don't want to see the 5,643 different selfies you've taken that day. I don't want to know every single frustration/opinion you have. Or at least I don't want to hear/see these things via social media.

Knowing someone via Facebook and knowing someone in real life are two totally different things. I have such a problem with saying I am keeping in contact with someone but never picking up the phone to call them or never grabbing coffee with them. I am the world's worst at justifying my absence from people's lives by saying "Well I did put that info on Twitter so people can't say they didn't know."

Community was not meant to happen through a screen.

I want to end this post by first saying I am in no way bashing all of social media. Everything in moderation. Facebook is a great way for us to stay connected. But Facebook can't be our only interaction. Facebook can't replace face time (pun intended). Facebook can also not be our source of worth. The number of likes and followers we have should never affect our identity or confidence. That comes solely in Christ. He is our number 1 fan. He wants to be at the center of everything: our posts on Instagram, our time alone at our house, in our jobs, everywhere!

Jesus wants us to leave a gathering with friends with a full battery on our iPhones

Ie: be present with people when you are with them. You don't have to post every hang out you have, every meal you eat, every thought you have. Enjoy and fellowship with others unplugged. Don't check social media every time things get uncomfortable. Don't put your self worth in your likes, comments, and retweets. You have been called beloved! So this year, I will have less of you all. I won't be checking social media as much. I won't be posting as much on websites. I will hopefully having more of you all though. In real life. In phone conversations. In coffee dates. In Skype chats. I hope to have less but more of you.